Gangs Don't Mess With Bender
by HazelWitch81
Summary: When Fry mysteriously vanishes thanks to a bunch of rowdy street kids. Bender becomes a masked vigilante named Count Bendula and vows to stop all gangs. Leela and the others all search for Fry who is thought to be dead.


Futurama

Opening Credits scene:

A Spoof of Pokemon Advance with Leela as Ash, Bender as Brock, Fry as May, and Hermes as Max.

Chapter One:

One hot fateful summer day in New New York. At Mom's Friendly Robot Company, Walt, Larry, and Ignar were interrogating Fry who was tied to a chair as Bender was crawling through an air duct.

Walt: OKay, Fry! Tell us about the Earthquake machine!

Fry: I don't know nothing about it!

Larry: What is it's secrets?

Fry: Why are you picking on me, for?

Ignar: Because you're a Daddy's nephew!

Walt: He's his uncle you fool! (slaps Ignar)

Fry: Let me go! I don't know nothing! I'm not a mad scientist assistant!

Walt, Larry, and Ignar were slapping Fry around while Bender was crawling through the air duct.

Bender: Now I know what a TV dinner feels like! Always known I've had some connection to John McClane!

Bender finds the room where Fry was held in and breaks in!

Bender: It's Benderin' Time! Let's reenact the beginning scene to the first Naked Gun movie!

Bender puts Fry in another room.

Ignar: (Screams)

Walt: If you beat us up, we'll sue you!

Larry: Yeah, we have Gloria Allred's head on our side!

Bender: Want to know what you guys need? A good long, (throws a smoke bomb at Walt, Larry, and Ignar) Smoke!

The smoke bomb makes Walt, Larry, and Ignar cough and their clothes fade until they're in their underwear.

Walt, Larry, and Ignar: (scream and runs away)

Bender: And boom goes the dynamite! (laughs) Underroos are fun to wear!

Fry: Bender! Come get me, please!

Bender (singing): Who's the greatest hero in the world? Me! Bender! That's who! (under his breath) Save yourself for once, scrawny wimp.

Chapter Two:

Bender goes into the room where he put Fry and was about to free him from his restraints.

Fry: It was terrible, Bender. They kept slapping me around.

Bender: It's all over now, little buddy. I'll untie you.

Fry: No, wait. I want to break free myself.

Bender: Nonsense, you can't break free from ropes, you never could.

Fry: Well, you and Leela are always saying I should do things myself.

Bender: True that. Okay, tell you what, I'll give you ten minutes, if you're not free by then, I'm helping you. Also, if you scream, I'm running in to get you.

Fry: It's a deal.

Bender leaves the room. Five seconds go by and he hears Fry scream and runs into the room.

Bender: Didn't take too long, what the...*beep*!

Fry was gone. Nowhere to be seen. Bender sees a bunch of street kids running around the room. The street kids were all ragged looking and wearing jeans and t shirts.

Bender: Who the hell are you guys, some politically correct version of the Dead End Kids?

Black Kid: We the Turfburglers! The toughest of kids under the age of 10! My name is Yo, Man!

Asian Kid: My name is Karate Chop!

Indian Kid: How! (holds up hand) My name is How!

Mexican Kid: My name is Tex Mex!

White Kid: I'm Eugene!

Bender: What have you chumps done to Fry?

Yo Man: We don't know any Fry!

Karate Chop: What the hell is Fry?

How: If you want to talk to us...

Eugene: Talk to my older sister! She's our leader!

A 10 year old girl walks in wearing a black baseball cap, green t-shirt, a zebra print skirt with jeans and Converse High Tops. Her hair was blond. Her name is True.

True: What seems to be the problem? (sees Bender): Who the hell are you, did you escape from the toy store?

Bender: Never mind who I am! What have you done to Fry?

True: Don't know him! We're here looking for our baseball!

Bender: You killed him, didn't you?

True: You stole our baseball!

Bender: Where's Fry?

True: Where's our baseball!

Bender and True verbally fight with each other until their voices overlap.

Bender: STOP!

True: If you think I killed him, try looking at the cameras.

Bender: Good idea for a 10 year old street girl!

Tex Mex: Found our ball!

The kids were about to leave and Bender stops True.

Bender: Just one thing. If I look through this tape and if I see that you and your gang killed him, there's going to be hell to pay! You will feel my wrath! I don't care if you're a girl!

The Turfburglers then tried to convince Bender he was stupid for thinking they had something to do with Fry's disappearence.

True (laughs): Ooooh, I'm being threatened by a toilet seat lid who doesn't know his own ass from a hole on the ground.

Street Kids: Ooooooooohhhhhhh!

Bender takes the camera and the DVD that's it's in and leaves Mom's Friendly Robot Company.

Chapter Three:

Back at Planet Express, everyone was waiting for Fry and Bender.

Farnsworth: I hope Fry didn't reveal the secret to my Earthquake machine.

Leela: Here comes Bender, now.

Bender (walks in): Secret's safe.

Farnsworth: That's a relief.

Hermes: How come Fry isn't with you?

Amy: Did he get lost?

Bender: That's what I came to tell you.

Leela: Oh, no. What is it?

Bender (puts the DVD in the viewscreen): He got killed by a 10 year old gang girl. This will explain.

Zoidberg: Was she black?

Hermes slaps Zoidberg.

The survillance DVD shows Fry tied to a chair trying to break free. Then it shows True and her gang come in through the window. Then it shows True punch out Fry and pull a lever and a trapdoor fell beneath Fry.

Bender: That explains it. Fry is a goner.

Leela (crying): Oh no.

Amy: It can't be. (sobs)

Hermes: I'm going to miss that demented honky. (cries)

Everyone expect Bender cries.

Farnsworth: He was my only family besides Ignar.

Bender walks out of the Planet Express building and stares up into the sky.

Bender: Don't worry, my scrawny and pale friend! I will seek justice for you! Oh, Fry. You were like a younger brother to me! I was Sherlock Holmes and you were Watson! I was Nayland Smith and you were Dr. Petrie! I was Sonic and you were Tails! I was the Skipper and you were Gilligan! I was Estrada and you were Wilcox! I was McGarrett and you were Danno! I HATE GANGS! I swear to all that is holy that I will get my revenge! I will kill all GANGS!

Just then True and her gang throw a milk bottle at him.

True: Hey, Robot! Got Milk! (laughs) Later, toilet man!

True and her gang ride away on their hoverbikes!

Bender: YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS TRUE! YOU WILL PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID TO FRY!

Chapter Four:

The next day, they all held a private memorial service for Fry. Then Leela gets an idea.

Leela: You know people. I don't believe Fry is really dead.

Hermes: He is dead, you saw the DVD.

Farnsworth: She's in the denial phase, everyone. I say we sedate her!

Amy: Let's hear what she has to say.

Leela: Fry is out there, and we're all going to find him. Dead or Alive!

Zoidberg: Like Bon Jovi?

Hermes: What do you suggest we do?

Leela: We are going to search all over New New York! We are going to search every farmhouse, warehouse, big house, small house, townhouse, dollhouse and doghouse as possible!

Farnsworth: What is possessing you do to this?

Leela: This is one of Mom's schemes. We all know how treacherous she can be.

Farnsworth: Indeed. I was in love with her once. We have a child together.

Amy: I'm going with Leela to find Fry.

Hermes: I'll go, too. There's a possibility he's dead.

Leela: I'm aware of that. Let's go everyone.

Farnsworth: Hmmmm, wonder why Bender didn't join? Oh, well. (sleeps)

Leela, Amy, Hermes, and Zoidberg board the PE Ship and scope around New New York, still no sign of Fry.

Chapter Five:

At Robot Arms Apts. Bender was putting on a disguise. The disguise consisted of a green cape with the letters CB on it, a black mask and a purple belt with gun holsters

Bender: This is a dawning of a new era! Gangs beware! For you are about to face a new enemy! From this day on, I am...Count Bendula!

Leela comes in.

Bender: State your purpose or die!

Leela: Just wanted to know if you wanted to join our search?

Bender: No way, Leela. I'm more interested in revenge!

Leela: So, you're a superhero now?

Bender: More like vigilante. I am now Count Bendula! Fry would've wanted it this way. He used to be a hero.

Leela: That he was. He was Delivery Boy Man and Captain Yesterday. So, you're living vicariously through him now?

Bender: Exactly.

Leela: Say, would you like me to be your secretary?

Bender: No! Count Bendula works alone. (leaves the apartment.)

Leela: Where are you going?

Bender: LA! There's a bank robbery there. To the pimpmobile!

Bender goes on his hovercycle and heads to LA. In Los Angeles, some bank robbers ran out of the Millionth National Bank.

Robber 1: Wow! Look at all this money we got!

Robber 2: I stole some jewelry from an old lady!

Roober 3: Big deal dude! I got a VISA! It's everywhere you want to be!

Just then Count Bendula comes out of hiding and beats up the robbers. The third one gets away but he catches him.

Count Bendula (grabs robber's shirt): When you go home, I want you to tell all your friends about me...

Robber 3: Who are you?

Count Bendula (holds Robber close): I'm Count Bendula! (Throws Robber down a manhole.)

Chapter Six:

Back at Planet Express, Bender, Leela, Hermes, and Amy are all watching a news report about a riot caused by some reptiles who worship the Space Pope at Mars University.

Amy: Oh, no! That's my school!

Leela: It's not your school anymore.

Hermes: You graduated, remember?

Bender: Yeah, 'Doctor' Amy Wong! I'm outta here! (Bender leaves on his hovercycle).

Amy: Hope Kappa Kappa Wong's okay.

Zoidberg: Where's Bender going?

Leela: He's a vigilante now. He's avenging Fry's death.

Hermes: Why don't you go help him you useless barnicale?

Zoidberg (jumps in the air and his eyeballs stretch out): WHAT?! You want me to be a hero's helper? Crime is scary!

Hermes (exsparated): Never mind.

At Mars University, a gang of reptiles were terrorizing the campus. Then Count Bendula arrives on his hovercycle and takes out a bazooka.

Reptile 1: Repent! Repent! Worship the Space Pope!

Reptile 2: Worship him or die!

Reptile 3: Space Pope! Space Pope!

Terrorized college kids are running away and screaming. Then Count Bendula uses his bazooka to blow them away. Only one remains.

Count Bendula (walking up to the surviving Reptile): Believe in the Space Pope?

Reptile 3 (hesitantly): YES?!

Count Bendula: Gonna meet him! (blows away Reptile).

Then all the girls come running to meet Count Bendula.

Girls: Oooooh! My hero! Can I have your autograph? Who are you, masked hero? Oooooh, Caped Crusader!

Count Bendula: I can get used to this!

Chapter Seven:

Count Bendula rides his hovercycle to The Hip Joint. Where he got word that the Robot Mafia has held up the place.

Song: Queens of the Stone Age: The Hollow plays.

Donbot: Freeze! And nobody gets hurt!

Joey Mousepad: Stay where you are and shut up!

There are screams heard.

Clamps: Move and you'll all get the squeeze!

Donbot (laughs): Good one, Clamps.

Count Bendula crashes his hovercycle and takes out a laser machine gun.

Count Bendula: Halt, Scumbags!

Joey Mousepad: Get outta here, ya Caped Crusader!

Donbot: Get out before you get yourself hurt!

Count Bendula: You and your gang are going down!

Clamps: Bite us!

Count Bendula (takes out his laser machine gun and shoots): Bite this!

Count Bendula shoots up the Robot Mafia until they run away. Then a transgender robot comes up to him.

Transbot: Wanna Dance? Wanna Dance? Anybody wanna dance?!

Count Bendula (punches out Transbot): You're not my type.

Everyone at the Hip Joint claps for him.

Count Bendula: Thank you, thank you! You're all too kind! I'm great I know! (takes out a picture of Fry) Doing this for you. Hope you're having fun in skinny heaven. I'm getting those kids who murdered you! I'm saving them for last.

Song Ends

Chapter Eight:

Two months have passed and still no sign of Fry. Count Bendula continues to torture and maim street gangs. There was even a news report about him.

Linda: Good evening. For the past two months, a caped vigilante named Count Bendula has been brutalizing gangs all over the solar system and the world.

Morbo: Street gangs give Morbo gas!

Linda (laughing): Still no word on missing delivery boy Philip J. Fry.

Hermes: We might as well face it, Fry is dead.

Amy: We've looked everywhere for him for the past two months.

Leela: There's one place we haven't looked. Mom's Friendly Robot Company. Come on.

Hermes, Leela, Amy, and Zoidberg all walk to Mom's Friendly Robot Company only to see a bunch of street gangs laying around badly injured.

Zoidberg: Boy, Bender sure has a lot of anger.

Count Bendula (stops his hovercycle): I'm going to get those kids who killed Fry. They're in Harlem. Wish me luck! (speeds away).

In Harlem, True and her gang were skateboarding in an alley. Count Bendula arrives.

Count Bendula: True Wilkerson! You and I have some unfinished business!

True and the Turfburglars stop skateboarding and walk up to him.

Eugene: It's that robot again, big sister!

True: Well, well, well! If it isn't a scrap metal garbage can in a cape and his underwear!

Kids: (laughing)

Count Bendula: I just found on that survillance DVD that you killed Fry. You and your gang are going to pay!

True: Once I get through with you, you'll be on the top of the scrap heap!

The Turfburglars attack him by throwing rocks.

Tex-Mex: Ole!

Karate Chop: Bonzai!

Yo Man: (beatboxing)

How: Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

True and Eugene join in and Count Bendula walks up to a fire hydrant and uses a wrench to open it.

Count Bendula: You and your Turfburglars can bite my shiny metal ass!

The fire hydrant sprays the Turfburglars away.

Chapter Nine Conclusion:

At Mom's Friendly Robot Company, Leela, Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg were searching outside.

Zoidberg: Still haven't found him.

Amy: Leela! Leela! I found Fry!

Leela: You did?

Amy leads them to a window in a basement. Fry was inside. He was tied up. His hands were tied to the armrests, and he had ropes around his chest, hips, and lap. His ankles were tied together.

Leela: It's him, he's alive! We have to tell Bender.

Hermes: Sweet acres of Jamaica! He's alive!

Amy: He's all tied up.

Zoidberg: I never gave up hope!

Leela: Let's go to Harlem and break the news to Bender!

Meanwhile in Harlem, Count Bendula walks over the unconscience street kids.

Count Bendula: (To True): No matter what you do with your life, you are always going to be garbage! I hope you become a teen mom!

Count Bendula was about to punch True in the face and Leela came on the scene. Bender takes off his costume.

Leela: Bender! Bender! Bender!

Bender: Leela! Leela! Leela! Don't you know how annoying that sounds?

Hermes: We found Fry!

Amy: He's tied up in Mom's basement.

Bender: Get outta town, man!

Leela: I'm telling the truth. We'll take you to him!

Bender: Fine.

They all arrived at Mom's Friendly Robot Company.

Leela: Go in and get him.

Bender goes through the back window.

Fry (muffled): Mmmmm! Mmmmm! Mmmmm! Mmmm!

Bender: Is there a scrawny dorky redhead in here?

Fry: Mmmm! Mmmm! Benmer!

Bender: Fry! You're alive! (ungags him) I thought you were dead.

Fry: Mom's sons told me that. Oh, Bender! I thought I'd never see you again.

Bender: Now, are you going to get out of these ropes yourself?

Fry: No, I can't. Please help me.

Bender: You got it, little buddy.

Bender broke off the ropes holding Fry to the chair.

Fry: I was held captive for two months! Mom and her sons fed me bread and water and sedated me.

Feeling guilty for not saving Fry the last time, Bender gives Fry an ultimatium.

Bender: I'm never letting you out of my sight again. From now on, next time you go somewhere, me or Leela will take you.

Fry: Sounds fair. 2 months. I practically missed the whole summer. 2 months I'll never get back.

Bender: You were frozen for 1000 years, think you'd be more upset about that...

Once Bender freed Fry from his restraints, Fry jumped off the chair and hugged Bender.

Fry (sobbing and hugging Bender): You're my best friend in the world!

Bender: All right! Enough of the tearful reunion!

Bender carried Fry outside and walked out of the building. Fry ran up to Leela.

Fry: Leela! (Hugs her)

Leela: Fry. You're alive and safe!

A crowd was watching and clapped for them.

Amy: We never stopped looking for you.

Hermes: Welcome home, honky!

Leela: So, anything I can do for you?

Fry: Yes, I want a nice dinner, and to go to sleep for about a week. But for now, I want to be in your arms!

Leela: Whatever you want.

Bender: All right folks, nothing else to see, show's over! Don't have to go home, but you can't stay here!

Later that day Mayor Poopenmeyer gives Count Bendula a metal for his outstanding community service! Bender vows to keep Fry safe from now on. And there was a party in the streets. Then it shows Count Bendula on top of the Planet Express building with Fry and Leela looking at him admiringly.

VO: Wherever there's injustice and crime. Count on the Count! Count Bendula! Who fights for truth, justice, and the Bite My Shiny Metal Ass way!

THE END

Closing Credits.


End file.
